If You Ever Get Lost

by Mariuk

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1.
Echo 04:33
Am I a voice or am I an echo? Am I the lightning or am I the thunder? Who's the one writing my story? Am I deceiving myself thinking I freely choose the jail? But why do I need to be punished after all? Am I confusing pleasure with pain? Am I a voice or am I an echo? Am I the lightning or am I the thunder? Am I walking away by staying? Am I giving up by giving in? Am I a voice or am I an echo? Tell me, am I still waiting for someone to take the lead? Am I still waiting in the dark when I'm the only one holding a light? Am I a voice or am I an echo? Am I the lightning or am I the thunder? Am I walking away by staying? Am I giving up by giving in? Am I a voice or am I an echo?
2.
Vilña 01:12
3.
This is a road I’ve never walked before and even though I’m obviously insecure I try to look as confident as I can for there is always evil waiting for innocence and there’s nothing more satisfying than proving everybody wrong I may not have wings to fly as high as you can but I have two legs to walk and road ahead so I’m gonna walk now watch me I hate to think nature is my master and so I try to master my nature for it is known there is an extra room to play if you unlock the door to the king’s head and there’s nothing more satisfying than proving everybody wrong I may not have wings to fly as high as you can but I have two legs to walk and road ahead so I’m gonna walk now watch me
4.
Sunglasses 03:51
I put sunglasses between you and I so I can see your eyes but you cannot see mine so you cannot read my mind and realize how scared I am I tried to understand the game that everyone knows how to play Truth is I've been trying all my life but I never seem to get it right It looks so cool, it looks so careless You say whatever's in your mind and it works but I'm constantly calculating how to act as normal as possible in your world I look at you from a safe distance like someone watching a reality show Deep inside I wish I was part of the scene, the gang or whatever you and your friends have going on I tried to understand the game that everyone knows how to play Truth is I've been trying all my life but I never seem to get it right It looks so cool, it looks so careless You say whatever's in your mind and it works but I'm constantly calculating how to act as normal as possible in your world
5.
Famous 03:28
Do I even have something to say worth the attention? Do I even want to share the stage with the rest of the clowns? Sometimes I feel so alone in this room full of noise Everybody wants to be famous and I don’t know who I am anymore Maybe I’m just too short people can’t see me and I can’t see the show Maybe I’m just too weird or just too ordinary Sometimes I feel so alone in this room full of noise Everybody wants to be famous and I don’t know who I am anymore And I wish I didn’t care but I do
6.
Time 02:52
Another trip, another lesson to learn I think it’s better to say yes and then regret than to say no but never forget what I left behind Oh time, take these memories with you like you did with his You erased me from his mind like footprints on the sand Another night, another battle to fight between irreconcilable differences (In) my mind won’t let me forget what I left behind Oh time, take these memories with you like you did with his You erased me from his mind like footprints on the sand Oh time, you’re like the sea and I’m just footprints on the sand
7.
Call me ugly, call me pretty I no longer care If I’m just a body floating in the space then tell me why should I feel ashamed? Call me girl, call me boy I’m not into any role Call me young, call me old time is an illusion after all (įkvėptas tamsosios pusės niekad dar nesijaučiau toks gyvas tačiau pažemintas ir sudraskytas niekad dar nesijaučiau toks gyvas) Let me feel like I’m out of control (tačiau pažemintas ir sudraskytas niekad dar nesijaučiau toks gyvas) I will fight day and night ‘cuz freedom’s worth every punch All my flaws, all my darks they were yours and now they’re mine In my hands they turned to swords and with them I’ll win the war Let me feel like I’m out of control kiek kartų sakyti žodžiai neturi reikšmės ir nieko nereiškia kiek kartų galvotos mintys išblėsta, išnyksta ir išgaruoja kiek kartų sapnuoti sapnai pranyksta lyg saulei nušvitus
8.
Your Dress 03:34
It took some time but I’ve finally realized what a fool I made of myself trying to fit in your dress trying to behave trying to be someone else It took some time but I finally broke all the mirrors in order to find myself beautiful I swear I’d rather live naked than spend one more day trying to fit in your dress It took some time but I’m finally unlearning all the lessons you left in my skin Scars that remind me that I’d rather live naked than spend one more day trying to fit in your dress Your dress (trying to behave) Your dress (trying to be someone else) Your dress (trying to fit in your dress) Your dress (trying to behave) Your dress (trying to be someone else)
9.
I wave at you you make me so confused Why don’t you tell me what should I do? Give me Jolene something I’ve never seen Why don’t you tell me what do you mean? I hear you walk into the room at night but when I look up you’re gone And you whisper: If you want to see me dance catch me if you can If you could see you are my only queen Together we can make it big I hear you walk into the room at night but when I look up you’re gone And you whisper: If you want to see me dance catch me if you can
10.
Simon 04:04
Ever since we've been together I have counted every hair in your head and I've measured every inch of your body but I feel I don't know you yet I don't know you yet And ever since we've been together You've told me all your childhood and teenage stories And I've heard all of deepest secrets but I feel I don't know you yet I don't know you yet I want to know you for the rest of my life Oh let me know you as long as it lasts I don't know you yet
11.
12.
Remember how it hurt the first time they left Look at you now you’ve come so far now you’re the one leaving them behind You used to cry now it makes you laugh to see the time go by If you ever get lost again you know exactly where to find yourself You used to talk not saying much now in silence you thrive like when you were a child Maybe it’s just not going away but coming back If you ever get lost again you know exactly where to find yourself

about

If we only pay attention to social media, it might seem like I've been quiet for a while but the reality is that making this record has taken me two struggling years while I was also intensely touring, releasing a bunch of music videos and two more albums with my other music project (Northwest), besides releasing various singles and an EP as Mariuk. I want you to know whtIt's crazy to think that almost 4 years ago I didn't know anything about music production. In this time, I have learnt a lot about music theory, music production, sound engineering, creating a business from ground zero and what self-discipline really means. I've also had a lot of time to think and to know myself. This record is the result of all of that. I believe that, in some way, it has healed me from a lot of s**t I've been carrying around for years, it almost feels like a catharsis. I know it's not perfect and I'm already thinking about about how to make a way better record soon, but I've poured my soul into these songs (as cheesy as it sounds) and I love them. I hope you like them too.

Thank you all for being there on the other side. Ever since I was a teen I've always wanted to belong somewhere and I never felt that way until I started making music and connecting with people through this magical language that, more often than not, goes beyond and deeper than words. And I want you to know that I feel so f***ng good and grateful that you're here with me, even when I feel self-doubt and the impostor syndrome (which is very often haha).

Anyway, all I'm trying to say is: thank you and I'm going to make a lot of awesome music, this is just only the beggining (insert smily demon emoji here). Let's do it 🤘
I love u,
Mariuk

Listen/Download/Strem the album: heymariuk.com/music

credits

released October 23, 2019

Lyrics, vocals, instruments, production, engineering and mixing by Mariuk
Mastering and guitars in "Catch Me If You Can" by Ignacio Simón
Lithuanian poems by Anelė Juodaitytė
Totemic Animal by Ignacio Simón
Artwork:
Photos by Ignacio Hergueta
Makeup by Julia Santolaya
Illustrations, editing and graphic design by Mariuk

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Mariuk London, UK

I make weird music

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